Should I maintain confidentiality for a relative’s problem when she is 18 years old?
Recently, my wife’s cousin’s 18-year-old daughter got into some trouble relating to fraudulent transactions, sex scams, etc. and called me for legal advice. After giving her some preliminary advice and linking her up with a lawyer friend to represent her in the case, she asked me not to tell anyone, especially her parents, of her situation. While I tried my best to encourage her to be upfront and honest with her parents, she refused. Should I tell her parents what happened or maintain confidentiality and hope that she tells them herself?
Benny says
Dear Dr Who,
Like many professionals, we are mindful of observing a code of ethics that seeks to protect the interests of the clients and professional. It sounds like you related in the best interest of your relative by offering her some information that might be helpful to her. You were also careful to advise her to engage another fellow professional that can assist her.
The situation you now find yourself in is whether to breach the confidentiality of your relative by alerting her mother of the circumstance that she is in. This clearly violates most common practice of privacy of information. It also does not appear that there are legitimate grounds to reveal what she told you. On the other hand, since you did not relate to your relative as a professional client, the protection of professional confidentiality does not apply. Having said this, her query appears to be one of a sensitive nature and I think that she will be embarrassed and hurt if you reported on her to her parents.
I would advise her to consider the possible distress of her remaining completely silent. Should you notice that your relative is becoming severely distressed by the troubles she is in, you may intervene, this time as a concerned relative.