Relative who has questionable spending habits wants to borrow money
My close relative has been facing financial difficulties for the past few years. He has approached different relatives or friends to ask for money. Some time back, he shared his challenges and asked me if I could loan him a sum of money. At that time, I told him that I was not able to as I did not have funds. Recently, he found out that I received a big payout and has asked to meet with me. I believe he will be asking for money again. I feel conflicted as he is nice and helpful to all and has done some favours for my family. But I question how he manages his expenses. I want to help but am I enabling him to continue a habit of living beyond his means?
Benny says
Dear Moneybags,
Your hesitation to offer financial assistance to your relative reminds me of a proverb my wife often quotes, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be”. I believe the intent of this saying is not to tell us to be tight-fisted but to exercise financial prudence. This poses a challenge for Christians, as we are encouraged to help others. I hear your concern that this form of helping may result in your relative stumbling as he seems to have the “habit of living beyond his means”.
Sometimes good intentions to help others can inadvertently be a way of enabling bad behaviour to continue. The intention alone does not make the action of helping right. Giving money to a needy drug addict may not help him feed himself but instead, feed his habit. Speaking of habits, those with “bad habits” have an uncanny and persistent way of seeking out those who are in a position to accede to their requests. They invest a lot of energy in seeking assistance. Perhaps, a better way of helping is to suggest that this relative speak with a financial consultant to try living within his means.