Can’t come to terms with the trauma my daughter experienced
My daughter went through a traumatic experience a few years ago because a friend abused her trust. She did not share about the incident with me or my wife. We realised something was wrong one day when we saw that she had cut marks on her wrist. When we confronted her, she broke down and shared about what had happened. We were shocked and did not know what to do. It has been a few months and I still feel angry and helpless. I want justice for my daughter, but she does not want to pursue the matter although she agreed to see a counsellor. I am struggling to come to terms with what happened. I pray for protection for my family, but why didn’t God protect her? Why didn’t she tell us then so that we could have done something about it?
Sue-Lynn says
Dear Shocked Father,
I can sense your deep anger and feelings of helplessness, wanting to do something about your daughter’s situation and yet not being able to do so. You would also want to respect your daughter’s wishes not to pursue the matter. As parents, we love our children so much that it really pains us to see them suffer.
It may be difficult for your daughter to share with both of you soon after the traumatic incident happened. She may be trying to process the pain from the abuse of trust in her own ways. What she needs now is for her parents to walk with her through this difficult journey at her pace, and to provide a safe space to share and process her emotions without judgment. At the same time, do affirm her willingness to see a counsellor and offer your support in practical ways (e.g. drop her off/pick her up).
Scripture tells us that life in a fallen world includes human suffering in many forms (Romans 8:19-23). Whilst we pray for protection from pain and suffering, it is worthwhile to remind ourselves that our plan may not be the same as God’s plan and we may not fully understand why he does not protect our family from pain or suffering. My encouragement is to seek God for more faith and wisdom (James 1:5) rather than answers.
We can also seek God’s purpose as we suffer (Romans 5:3-5, 1 Peter 1:6-7). Suffering reminds us of our need to depend on God and may draw us closer to him. As believers, we know we have a compassionate God who is with us in our suffering and through our suffering (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). We take comfort knowing that there will be no more suffering when believers are reunited with God. Regarding justice, whilst we can pursue it here on earth, legal means may not always be successful. However, we can continue to trust in a fully just and sovereign God who will right all wrongs. May the word of God be a light to your path as you guide your daughter along.