The guilt from having aborted my child stays with me
A few years ago, I discovered that I was pregnant with my second child. In the fourth month of pregnancy, the scans revealed that there were developmental issues with my baby. An amniocentesis confirmed the likelihood of genetic conditions that would lead to physical and learning disabilities. My husband and I were devastated and did not know what to do. We sought counselling and even went for healing prayers. Our family members advised us to terminate the pregnancy as the long-term care needs of the child would be tremendous. On the other hand, my Christian friends encouraged us to keep the baby and to trust God for the future. In the end, I chose to terminate the pregnancy as I was already caring for my first child and did not have the capacity or resources to care for a disabled child. I know the Bible is against abortion. Even though what happened is in the past, I still struggle with a sense of guilt. Would God have wanted me to keep my child? Or would he understand that I did not have the ability to care for a disabled child? How do I come to terms with the decision I made?
Li Ping says
Dear Feeling Guilty,
It sounds like you struggle with whether you made the right decision and wonder if you may feel less guilty if God understands the decision you have made. May I suggest that it is possible to confess that what you did was against God’s will (i.e. a sin) and still find freedom from guilt and condemnation?
I stand with you in agreeing that the Bible is against abortion. Although abortion is not explicitly mentioned, Scripture speaks of the sanctity of all human life that is created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27) and that God knows each individual he created, even before they were born (Jeremiah 1:5). The Methodist Social Principles affirm that life begins at conception and that abortion is not subscribed to except on medical grounds, such as when the mother’s life is in danger. The first step to freedom from guilt is to confess your sin to God. 1 John 1:9 promises that if we do, God is faithful and just and will forgive us of our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Similarly, Romans 8:1 assures that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and have been forgiven in him.
Cleansing from sin does not absolve us of the consequences of sin, however. In the case of abortion, this can include lingering sadness and regret. But know that you are not alone in struggling with these consequences. You may find it helpful to connect with the resources provided at https://www.familylife.sg/RachelsVineyard and https://www.buttonsproject.org.sg.