You & Your Family
The gift that gives
“Will you tell us about (the importance of) forgiveness?” This request came from the Head of an agency where I was conducting some training on ‘Recovery from Infidelity’. This question might not seem odd to a lay person in counselling or to someone coming from a religious background. However, to talk about it specifically […]
You & Your Family
How to pass along the value of marriage to your children
Healthy marriages are foundational for a thriving society. But our children don’t necessarily hear that message in the media, learn it at school or even receive teaching about this at church. Many young people are being challenged and are forming ideas about marriage that are contrary to God’s initial design. So how do parents […]
You & Your Family
What do you reach for?
What do you reach out for when you feel trapped in a corner, besieged by life’s stressors? Where do you turn to and who do you go to? Some unfortunately turn to alcohol. Some others have come to rely on medication to cool their emotions and nerves. My client was not having a […]
You & Your Family
Unlinking teen self-worth from social media
“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ ” Hebrews 13:5, NKJV Each time your impressionable son or daughter logs on to Facebook or Instagram, they enter a potential show-off showdown. Imagine this, for example: […]
You & Your Family
What crosses are you bearing today?
Our cross can be an illness in various forms: physical, emotional or mental. It can also be unpleasant office colleagues or neighbours, work or financial crisis. This month’s contribution was inspired by a conversation I had with a client recently. He was reflecting on a year gone by since he started receiving counselling […]
You & Your Family
To split or not to split?
It’s not my role to judge the merits of their reasons but I do wonder if the vows “for better or for worse” are now understood as “for as long as I can tolerate you” or “until it’s no longer good”. The young couple’s question was as stark as could be: “Mr […]
You & Your Family
No room in our hearts?
Picture by lightkeeper/Bigstock.com A news report caught my attention the other day. It was about a poor elderly lady giving shelter to an equally elderly man who was homeless. The lady was living in a two-room HDB rental flat with her son and his son. For those unfamiliar with this type of dwelling, it […]
You & Your Family
What your teen needs to know about sex
Teens often hear of the biblical ‘forbiddens’, but they rarely hear of the wondrous nature of human love in God’s divine plan. Christian chastity – it’s really important, but we really don’t like having to deal with it. Chastity is conforming our body and our sexual self to God’s vision of human sexuality […]
You & Your Family
Leaving legacies
Few of us would have missed the unfolding story of the elderly widow who reportedly left her fortune to the care of a man half her age, whom she only met whilst on a tour in China. Relatives alarmed by the inexplicable and sudden nature of her decision have questioned its legality. This case […]
You & Your Family
Growing older together in peace and harmony
The four members of the Tan* family sat there in grim tension. The air was thick with anger and sadness. Elder Mr Tan muttered about how shameful it was to be seeing a counsellor, much like ‘washing dirty linen in public’. Blaming their family problems on Mrs Tan’s constant nagging, he added bitterly, “Who […]
You & Your Family
What are your teenagers ‘catching’?
The family names are different but the situation sounds all too familiar. The adolescent first began to assert himself by pushing the boundaries of certain rules in the home, like how late he was allowed to ‘hang out’ with his friends. Then came an endless series of ‘why’ questions – “Why can’t I […]
You & Your Family
Who is shaping your children’s minds?
The harder reality is that we and our children are constantly bombarded by a slew of undesirable traits online, at the movies, on billboards, TV advertising posters and music videos. Recently, a seemingly uncontroversial institution, the National Library Board, found itself under the harsh glare of public discourse. It had removed two children’s books […]
You & Your Family
Who’s the one that’s really poor?
Poor street kids in Delhi, India, receiving free food. Picture by paul prescott/Bigstock.com What does our pattern of giving say about us? How would our Lord view our relationship with those who are less privileged, as revealed through our giving? If our Lord’s grace was measured to us as ours is to others, what would […]
You & Your Family
Preparing for adulthood
Whilst schools do a reasonably good job of preparing a person vocationally, the task of imparting life and social skills begins and continues at home even when one has left formal schooling. A few months ago, I accompanied my friend to witness his son enlisting into National Service: taking the Singapore Armed Forces […]
