You & Your Family
Go and sin no more
WHEN A BAD AND UNEXPECTED THING happens to us, we often ask why. We want to know the reasons why it occurred. Nowhere is the search for rationale more pressing than when the distress is caused by someone we love and trust. I have often heard this question raised by the hurt party to […]
You & Your Family
What is happiness?
“WHAT IS HAPPY?” is is the question that I often pose to my wife in response to her query about whether I am happy. It is a reply that I sometimes use to deflect her probing, but it also stems from a genuine uncertainty about the meaning of happiness or how one is supposed […]
You & Your Family
A secret do-gooder
“We do not have to be enormously wealthy in order to help … You do not have to look too far for the needy. They are all around us, perhaps even sharing a pew with you.” I CONFESS THAT I SOMETIMES SHED TEARS watching these episodes. What I find moving is seeing grown […]
You & Your Family
Transitions can help us grow
IN A FEW WEEKS’ TIME, members of some churches will be experiencing a change that is familiar to many, but not to all, church organisations; that is the rotation of its pastoral staff. This move happens in every church and is greeted with mixed responses by the congregation. For most, it is felt as […]
You & Your Family
Training animals and humans
“I REHABILITATE DOGS AND I TRAIN OWNERS.” Mr Cesar Milan, who appears on the popular TV series “The Dog Whisperer” on the National Geographic Channel, reminds viewers of this dictum throughout the programme. I must say that as a Marital and Family Therapist who has seen some families bringing in their troublesome children for […]
You & Your Family
A gift of nature, a reminder of perspective
A FEW WEEKS AGO, my wife and I were surprised when we noticed a bird’s nest being built on the palm plant in our tiny enclosed yard. This unusual siting of the nest meant that it is just three metres away and at eye-level. To people like us who admire nature and try with […]
You & Your Family
Generativity versus self-absorption
ERIC ERICKSON, A FAMOUS PSYCHOLOGIST, introduced the theory that everyone develops through eight phases. One of these is the stage of Generativity versus Self-absorption or at times described as Generativity versus Stagnation, which was the subject of recent discussion between my client and me. She is in her mid-50s and had sought help for […]
You & Your Family
The best motivation comes from within ourselves
IN A RECENT MESSAGE from my daughter she wrote, “Come Dad, motivate me!” This rather unusual appeal comes from a student preparing for her first-year university examinations. If one does not know my daughter, one would think that this is a rather desperate plea. I saw it as a rather tongue-in-cheek message but with […]
You & Your Family
A most unusual but worthy prayer request
PRAY THAT I can pee. This must be one of the most unusual prayer requests I have ever been given. Yet it is probably one of the most needful, sincere and, may I add, worthy requests made. Being able to pee, for this patient, is what stands between her discharge from hospital after a […]
You & Your Family
Battle not lost till you throw in towel
THE SON WAS ACCOMPANIED by his mother for their first counselling session. “He is defiant,” she complained “and he never listens to me. We cannot get him to stop playing with the computer all day.” The 13-year-old sat there avoiding any eye contact with either of us and would only offer monotone responses. He […]
You & Your Family
We are family – united in our grief
“BY THE WAY, WHO ARE YOU?” or “Are you a family member?” These two questions were often asked by well-wishers at the wake of a dear friend who passed away recently. The questions were directed at a small band of helpers as we busied ourselves distributing refreshments, ushering, collecting love offerings and going about […]
You & Your Family
‘I too am a stranger’
HE ENTHUSIASTICALLY EXTENDED HIS HAND and introduced himself. I am Isaac, he announced to my surprise as I had braced myself for a name that I assumed would be difficult to remember. When Isaac adopted this rather quaint English name is unknown to me. I wondered if it was chosen recently in preparation for […]
You & Your Family
Sharing our ups and downs
MY DEFENCES ARE RAISED every time I am with a group of Christians and they begin to share. The word “share” has special meaning in Christian parlance. It denotes giving public testimony to the work of God in our lives. This is often understood as proclaiming victories over various difficulties and challenges and these […]
You & Your Family
The two faces of humanity
“HOW INHUMAN!” my friend remarked with a tone of disbelief and disgust. He had just been sharing with me on how Orang Utans were being mistreated in Thailand. It seems that some are used as forms of entertainment during some Thai boxing bouts and even featured in pornographic films. My response was to say […]
