Relationships

On 8 September, Queen Elizabeth II passed on. The longest-reigning monarch of our time, she was a constant amidst all the changes of the past 70 years.

He came to see me wanting to work on his impatience and temper. When I asked my usual question of how he learned about me, he shared that it was through his wife.

In last month’s issue of Methodist Message, I shared about three men seeking to free themselves from the legacy of harsh parenting. In their childhood households, love and care was only shown, if at all, when they met parental expectations.

The similarities among three clients struck me recently. All three are men. All three are capable high achievers with respectable jobs. And all three have issues with managing their anger. Sadly, these issues have seen them lash out and hurt family members. Although one has shown flashes of his impatience to colleagues, their displays of […]

Many of us go through life not giving much thought to the question of “Who am I?” Identity documents such as our identity card or passport are commonly taken as proof of who we say we are, but they carry only a small bit of information about us. They do not tell who we really are.

In May 2016, The New York Times carried an interesting and thought-provoking article entitled Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person. Alain de Botton, the writer, asserted that whether we choose our marriage partner with our head or with our heart, we will invariably make a bad choice. He put forward reasonable supporting arguments, not the […]

“I picked a bone,” my client admitted with some hesitation. We had been talking and trying to understand a recent argument with his wife. My work with him focused on helping him manage his propensity to escalate from irritation to anger and then rage. That morning, he could not find something he wanted. At the back […]

A Sunday Times article on 30 January 2022 covered a trend dubbed “The Great Resignation” (also known as “Lying Flat”) sweeping some countries. It noted that Singapore’s manpower data do not indicate that this phenomenon has hit our shores—yet. “The Great Resignation” involves waves of employees—primarily professionals, executives and even skilled workers—quitting their jobs without […]

A recent invitation to be a panel speaker in a webinar on “hope” led me to mull over this multi-faceted subject. Here, I shall consider the importance of hope in relationships that matter to us. Before going on, allow me to define hope as a feeling of expectation, a desire with an anticipation that something […]

“I don’t mind the Christian God, it’s the Christians that I have a problem with!” A statement like this is unfortunate, since Christ’s followers are supposed to be the earthly expression of God’s compassion and His presence. Clearly, many of us are not doing a good job of it. Not only do some Christians turn people […]

The topic of identity has recently come up repeatedly with clients I have been counselling. A case that has made a strong impression on me involves a couple who have been married for almost six years. The man had been sent to Singapore at a young age for his education. He eventually graduated, started working […]

The COVID-19 pandemic has affected us in so many ways. Around the world, millions of deaths have been reported and an unknown number suffer the ravages of long COVID. The economy has been in a tailspin with businesses shutting down, many losing jobs and others forced into unpaid leave for months on end. As I […]