You & Your Family
Marriage and money
Maintaining marital harmony in a world of income disparity THE MODEL OF THE COUPLE where the husband is the sole breadwinner is fast becoming obsolete. For many households, wives would be working for much, if not for a significant, portion of their married life. With better education and improved employment opportunities, the average salaries […]
You & Your Family
What true confession means
“I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU,” he said in a tone that sounded more like making a request as much as it was a statement of fact. I had been counselling this man and his wife for the last year. They had marital problems for some time and were first referred to me because […]
You & Your Family
Forgive, yes. Forget …?
HOW OFTEN HAVE WE HEARD THE EXPRESSION, “I can forgive, but I cannot forget”? Perhaps we too have said this on an occasion or two, and there is some truth in this sentiment. Forgiving is an act of the will, whilst forgetting is not within our control. You cannot will yourself to forget. For […]
You & Your Family
Rest, rest, rest and rest
AFTER THREE ROAST TURKEYS and two major festivities to celebrate Christmas and New Year, I feel like one tired soul. This topic of tiredness was brought up to sharper focus when a client of mine recently shared his father’s observation of his colleagues after attending a Christian rally they organised. He commented on how […]
You & Your Family
Change and fresh beginnings
THE NEW YEAR provides some with the renewed desire to attempt some change in their lives. We may promise to look after ourselves better by losing weight and exercising more or achieve a better work-life balance. Others may work on improving their relationship with their spouses or with their teenage children. In counselling, I […]
You & Your Family
The wisdom of ‘Let it be’
IN CHURCHES THROUGHOUT THIS PERIOD, the Christmas Story will be read and retold again. I wonder what part of the story catches your attention. What aspects are you more drawn to? Different scenes are especially poignant to us at the various stages in our lives. The part that has recently captured my imagination is […]
You & Your Family
UNEQUALLY YOKED
THE VERSE “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Cor: 6:14) may be familiar to some of us. The metaphor of the yoke, a farm tool linking two animals together, so that they may pull a plough or a cart, conveys the importance of finding synergy in a marriage between the two […]
You & Your Family
Living with the reality of death
INITIALLY, WE WOULD GATHER at weddings. Then it would be at our children’s birthday parties. Now, we bump into old friends when there is a death, sometimes of a parent and sometimes of a mutual friend. Such events invariably leave us feeling awkward, saddened with grief and even anxious for ourselves. We are also […]
You & Your Family
Disciplining the child is parents’ duty
“WAIT, UNCLE BENNY (WILL) GET ANGRY,” the father warned his son as he looked sheepishly in my direction. For the last 15 minutes, “Denis” was amusing himself with his toy cars and had used his seat as a race track. I tried my best to ignore him and focus on the service. Occasionally his […]
You & Your Family
Profit and Loss
“FOR WHAT DOES IT PROFIT a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? For what can a man give in return for his life?” (Mark: 8.36-37). The words from these verses came to me as I listened to a wife describe the changes she saw in her husband over a span […]
You & Your Family
Compassion as Christian duty
SHE LOOKED straight at me in the eye and asked the question most marriage counsellors dread to hear, “So, do you think that there is any hope in saving this marriage?” There is one thing one needs to know about marriage counsellors and that is we never give a straight answer. How can we, given […]
