Family

Can’t come to terms with the trauma my daughter experienced

Family

Can’t come to terms with the trauma my daughter experienced

My daughter went through a traumatic experience a few years ago because a friend abused her trust. She did not share about the incident with me or my wife. We realised something was wrong one day when we saw that she had cut marks on her wrist. When we confronted her, she broke down and shared about what had happened. We were shocked and did not know what to do. It has been a few months and I still feel angry and helpless. I want justice for my daughter, but she does not want to pursue the matter although she agreed to see a counsellor. I am struggling to come to terms with what happened. I pray for protection for my family, but why didn't God protect her? Why didn't she tell us then so that we could have done something about it? ~ Shocked Father

4 min read
I want to be a SAHM but my husband wants me to work

Family

I want to be a SAHM but my husband wants me to work

I am a working mother with two young children, both under the age of five. I rely on a helper and my mother-in-law to watch my children while I'm at work. I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mum. However, my husband feels that it is better for me to work so that we can have two incomes, though I would rather make the financial sacrifices to be at home. He grew up with a working mother and thinks that all women should work unless there is no help at home. I am frustrated because he does not understand my desire to watch my young children grow up and thinks I should be thankful to have help. I also do not agree with the way my mother-in-law manages my helper and children. As a result, I end up arguing with my husband. How do I get him to see my point of view? ~ wannabeSAHM

4 min read
Teenage son talks back to his teachers

Family

Teenage son talks back to his teachers

My nearly-adult teenage son does well in school both academically and in CCAs. However, he gets into trouble every year for talking back to his teachers. Some teachers absolutely adore him; they are the ones who see his heart. But teachers that are "not nice" will bear the brunt of his talkback because he has no respect for either their poor teaching skills or their difficult personalities. He is often the one at fault, but I don't know how to get him to rein in his tongue. ~ Fed-up Mama

4 min read
My daughter has gender dysphoria and wants a sex change surgery

Family

My daughter has gender dysphoria and wants a sex change surgery

My 17-year-old child has gender dysphoria. As my husband and I are Christians, we have tried our best to share with her about what the Bible says about sexuality and at the same time show her love and acceptance. She has pleaded with us to allow her to go for a sex change surgery and because we refused, she has become distraught and engages in self-harm. Our relationship with her has become very strained. We brought her to see a counsellor but the sessions end up as heated arguments because she will not accept our views and feels that we are imposing our Christian beliefs on her. As parents, we are at our wits’ end. It pains us to see her struggle mentally and emotionally. We also struggle with guilt and wonder how things have turned out this way. ~ Help

6 min read
Do I bring my daughter to visit a friend whose adult child has a live-in partner of the same sex in their home?

Family

Do I bring my daughter to visit a friend whose adult child has a live-in partner of the same sex in their home?

A friend has a daughter who is lesbian and has a live-in partner … in my friend's home. My friend is Christian but her daughter is not. My question is not about my friend's or her daughter's choices, but mine, as a parent. Should we bring along my primary-school aged daughter to visit her during Christmas and Chinese New Year, as we used to do? Part of me does not want to expose my daughter to a non-Christian model of family, but yet, to shield her from it seems futile. ~ Awkward

4 min read
My recently widowed father is dating a woman who is younger than me

Family

My recently widowed father is dating a woman who is younger than me

I am in my 40s and married with teenage children. My mother passed away from illness about six months ago. Recently, I found out that my 75-year-old father is dating a foreign lady who is younger than me. He introduced her to us at a family dinner and privately told us that that he plans to let her move into our family home. He then asked me to clear out my old room so she could move her things in. I was very angry and upset. I also do not feel comfortable with this lady, and I feel suspicious of her. I expressed caution to my father, but he is totally caught up with her. I understand my father is grieving, lonely and seeks companionship, but I want to protect him from being taken advantage of. ~ Suspicious

4 min read
Too close for comfort

Family

Too close for comfort

My 12-year-old son is very close to me. As his mother, I love him but I do not like the way he clings to me sometimes. Some days when he wants my attention, he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. As he is getting bigger, I feel tired trying to resist the force of his movements. When he is chastised for disobeying instructions for instance, instead of rectifying his behaviour, he asks me to hug him first. It feels like he's trying to evade or delay punishment and sometimes I tell him to do what he has to do before coming for a hug. This makes him upset and he has told me before that he feels hurt when I refuse to hug him. I am tired from the physical and emotional demands even though I love him. What can I do to make him understand that I would like some personal space without making him feel rejected? ~ Drained

4 min read
Relative who has questionable spending habits wants to borrow money

Family

Relative who has questionable spending habits wants to borrow money

My close relative has been facing financial difficulties for the past few years. He has approached different relatives or friends to ask for money. Some time back, he shared his challenges and asked me if I could loan him a sum of money. At that time, I told him that I was not able to as I did not have funds. Recently, he found out that I received a big payout and has asked to meet with me. I believe he will be asking for money again. I feel conflicted as he is nice and helpful to all and has done some favours for my family. But I question how he manages his expenses. I want to help but am I enabling him to continue a habit of living beyond his means?

3 min read