Life & Faith

He sat scowling and with eyes intently fixed on me throughout the first part of our meeting. Even when correcting some of what his wife and son had said, he never once took his eyes off me. It made me feel a little uncomfortable.

I have two best friends since secondary school. But both have hurt me deeply through their actions and words. They can't seem to be there for me when I need them, and they only speak about their problems and do not care about my problems. Each time my friends hurt me, I will distance myself from them but they will apologise and I will return to them. I feel tired emotionally. Should I still be friends with my secondary school mates despite them hurting me? But I know that they will never badmouth me as they love me.

I think my nephew may have special needs as he exhibits behaviours that are unusual. But I am not an expert on such matters so I can't be certain. My sister and brother-in-law are stressed out trying to ensure their child is obedient and behaves appropriately. Should I mention my suspicions to them so that they can consider getting him assessed since early intervention is important? I just don't know whether they will take to it kindly.

A few years ago, I discovered that I was pregnant with my second child. In the fourth month of pregnancy, the scans revealed that there were developmental issues with my baby. An amniocentesis confirmed the likelihood of genetic conditions that would lead to physical and learning disabilities. My husband and I were devastated and did not know what to do. We sought counselling and even went for healing prayers. Our family members advised us to terminate the pregnancy as the long-term care needs of the child would be tremendous. On the other hand, my Christian friends encouraged us to keep the baby and to trust God for the future. In the end, I chose to terminate the pregnancy as I was already caring for my first child and did not have the capacity or resources to care for a disabled child. I know the Bible is against abortion. Even though what happened is in the past, I still struggle with a sense of guilt. Would God have wanted me to keep my child? Or would he understand that I did not have the ability to care for a disabled child? How do I come to terms with the decision I made?

My family lives with my in-laws. My father-in-law is a well-loved member of a Methodist church and is always in good spirits in public. But at home he has a terrible temper. When he is in a bad mood, he shouts at the family, calls his wife "stupid" and causes the rest of the family to walk on eggshells to avoid being the target of his outbursts. The rest of the family see it as normal and don't think he can change at this age. Do you have any suggestions as to how I could lead him to change and improve his relationship with his family?

The email was unexpected. After all, the couple, my clients for the past eight months, were doing well in their relationship and I had witnessed mutual concern for each other's wellbeing.

My son struggles with some sensory issues, and exhibits inflexibility and perfectionist behaviours. Since starting primary school, the demands of school have escalated such behaviours, leading to daily meltdowns—hours of screaming, self-harm and incessant erasing and rewriting. However, in school, he is a model student! The whole family's life has been put on hold, and we are centred around keeping him calm and safe. I feel this is not fair for his older siblings whose needs may have been sidelined. I've considered taking him out of school, but many say he will outgrow this behaviour. Will he? How can I manage things better?

Recently, my wife's cousin's 18-year-old daughter got into some trouble relating to fraudulent transactions, sex scams, etc. and called me for legal advice. After giving her some preliminary advice and linking her up with a lawyer friend to represent her in the case, she asked me not to tell anyone, especially her parents, of her situation. While I tried my best to encourage her to be upfront and honest with her parents, she refused. Should I tell her parents what happened or maintain confidentiality and hope that she tells them herself?

I have always looked up to a sister from a former church. She is an intercessor like me and I learned from her spiritual insights. I am an introvert; she has been my only best friend for the past 40 years. We meet once a year over Christmas. When her husband passed away 10 years ago, my friend slowly changed her behaviour. She became forceful and assertive over time. Last year she abruptly broke off the friendship and we didn't meet at Christmas. I have been praying for God to restore our friendship but my prayer is still unanswered. I am hurting over the loss of a cherished friendship. My faith in God is badly shaken. Emotionally and spiritually, I feel rejected, lonely and vulnerable. It's hard to make new friends.

My brother suspects that his wife is being unfaithful. He is thinking of engaging a private investigator to obtain proof of her infidelity. As a Christian, is this something that he should be doing? Wouldn't it open the possibility of divorce, which is considered wrong?

I have been living with my in-laws since we got married. My husband is the only son and when we got married he asked I was fine to stay with his parents since he has a duty to care for them. They are elderly and my father-in-law has dementia. Now that we have two young kids, I would like my own home and space. I do not get along with my mother-in-law as she is intrusive and feels that since the home is theirs, she can do what she likes, including coming into our rooms. I have spoken to my husband many times but if we move out, there is no one else to help care for his parents. I am frustrated because I not only have to care for my two kids, I have to care for two elderly people who do not appreciate what I do for them. At the same time, I want to submit to my husband as he is the head of the home.

I suspect my young adult daughter is gay and she has a girlfriend who stays over regularly. She has stopped going to church and feels that Christians are very narrow-minded and judgemental. She is supportive towards the LGBT community and attends events like Pink Dot. I am considering if I should ask her directly about her sexual orientation to remove my doubts. At the same time, I know that the truth may devastate me, and I am not sure if I can handle it. Should I leave the matter and just commit to God, or should I proactively speak to my daughter and share the Christian stance on same-sex relationships?