You & Your Family

A renowned couple therapist once stated that most problems faced by couples are not resolvable. This was baffling, given that it was said by someone whose career was in helping couples with their problems. Was this a statement of resignation, which came after years of facing the stark reality of seeing numerous failed relationships in spite of going for counselling? Or was it meant to be a ploy to boost the sales of his book or his model of therapy?

  The week’s news is sadly all too familiar. Suicide bombings killing dozens, hate crimes targeting places of worship and an attack on a tourist site – mass murders, all in the name of ethnic or religious cleansing. By their frequency, these horrendous acts have reached a point of banality and no longer draw a […]

However, churches do not serve only as ‘petrol stations’ or entertainment hubs where we go to fill up or be uplifted. They are also places of mutual ministry.A recent conversation over lunch with a colleague led to the topic of which church we were attending. My colleague sheepishly confessed that she had not been attending church for […]

  Be a parent who sticks with your son or daughter no matter what they’re going through. Remind them that you love him or her regardless of whether things are good or bad.   As a parent, you’ve invested your life in your child. You brought them to church, taught them everything you know about the […]

Lightning rods or conductors don’t often draw our attention. They sit on top of every building and even on some trees marked for preservation at the Singapore Botanic Gardens. They are a protective device that seeks to channel the huge heat and electrical energy surge of a lightning strike to the ground safely. Nowhere is […]

  “Will you tell us about (the importance of) forgiveness?” This request came from the Head of an agency where I was conducting some training on ‘Recovery from Infidelity’. This question might not seem odd to a lay person in counselling or to someone coming from a religious background. However, to talk about it specifically […]

  Healthy marriages are foundational for a thriving society. But our children don’t necessarily hear that message in the media, learn it at school or even receive teaching about this at church. Many young people are being challenged and are forming ideas about marriage that are contrary to God’s initial design. So how do parents […]

  What do you reach out for when you feel trapped in a corner, besieged by life’s stressors? Where do you turn to and who do you go to? Some unfortunately turn to alcohol. Some others have come to rely on medication to cool their emotions and nerves.   My client was not having a […]

“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ ”   Hebrews 13:5, NKJV Each time your impressionable son or daughter logs on to Facebook or Instagram, they enter a potential show-off showdown. Imagine this, for example: […]

  Our cross can be an illness in various forms: physical, emotional or mental. It can also be unpleasant office colleagues or neighbours, work or financial crisis.   This month’s contribution was inspired by a conversation I had with a client recently. He was reflecting on a year gone by since he started receiving counselling […]

  It’s not my role to judge the merits of their reasons but I do wonder if the vows “for better or for worse” are now understood as “for as long as I can tolerate you” or “until it’s no longer good”.     The young couple’s question was as stark as could be: “Mr […]

Picture by lightkeeper/Bigstock.com   A news report caught my attention the other day. It was about a poor elderly lady giving shelter to an equally elderly man who was homeless. The lady was living in a two-room HDB rental flat with her son and his son. For those unfamiliar with this type of dwelling, it […]