You & Your Family

  Few of us would have missed the unfolding story of the elderly widow who reportedly left her fortune to the care of a man half her age, whom she only met whilst on a tour in China. Relatives alarmed by the inexplicable and sudden nature of her decision have questioned its legality. This case […]

  The four members of the Tan* family sat there in grim tension. The air was thick with anger and sadness. Elder Mr Tan muttered about how shameful it was to be seeing a counsellor, much like ‘washing dirty linen in public’. Blaming their family problems on Mrs Tan’s constant nagging, he added bitterly, “Who […]

    The family names are different but the situation sounds all too familiar. The adolescent first began to assert himself by pushing the boundaries of certain rules in the home, like how late he was allowed to ‘hang out’ with his friends. Then came an endless series of ‘why’ questions – “Why can’t I […]

  The harder reality is that we and our children are constantly bombarded by a slew of undesirable traits online, at the movies, on billboards, TV advertising posters and music videos.   Recently, a seemingly uncontroversial institution, the National Library Board, found itself under the harsh glare of public discourse. It had removed two children’s books […]

  Whilst schools do a reasonably good job of preparing a person vocationally, the task of imparting life and social skills begins and continues at home even when one has left formal schooling.   A few months ago, I accompanied my friend to witness his son enlisting into National Service: taking the Singapore Armed Forces […]

Photo by Briana Tozour on Unsplash   Our human instinct is to congregate around someone who is grieving, to show support and solidarity with their loss, and perhaps with time to get them back into the swing of things.   An oft-asked question is: “What can I say or do to help someone who is […]

  Some years ago, when stickers, patches and buttons carrying various slogans were all the rage, there was one that gave a Christian take to an advertisement for a popular drink. It said “Jesus is the real thing”. It left readers to conclude for themselves what Jesus was to be compared to – real thirst-quenching, […]

  I am reminded of a short chorus that goes: “There’s a river of life flowing out from me; makes the lame to walk and the blind to see; opens prison doors and sets the captives free!”   I cannot forget the scene. There we were, about a dozen social workers and counsellors mulling over […]

  Some weeks ago, two stories that were unrelated news items caught my attention. The first was about a nine-year-old girl who was forced to wear a suicide vest in Afghanistan, and the second involved a British footballer who wore a fake suicide vest at a fancy dress party. In the first account, the girl […]

  … how the brain affects many aspects of human behaviour ranging from mental illness to how differently men and women fall in love. Last December, I attended a conference named “The Evolution of Psychotherapy”. Held every four years, it gathers leading researchers and clinicians in the fields of psychiatry, psychology and counselling to present […]

  James*, a professional in his mid-thirties, came to me for counselling because he was experiencing crises at many levels. It all began when his lover confessed that whilst on holiday overseas, she had a “one-night stand”. He felt betrayed and was devastated. After all, they had been together for eight years and except for […]

  Being in a job where people engage you to talk of their woes and despair does not afford you the opportunity to see many clients smiling or talking of heir successes. But this particular week was different; I had positive messages from two separate clients. Both came from women whom I have been helping […]