You & Your Family

  We need to strike a balance, as in so many things, between the past and the present. We need to have in our lives a place for things and practices from the past that are noteworthy, that are still of value.   In the previous article, I talked about memory. Recently, the following memory […]

  ...some people only remember the mistakes, setbacks and disappointments of life. They gloss over any upside that life has to offer and choose instead to focus on and remember the bad days.   In her song “Big Yellow Taxi”, Joni Mitchell sings: “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve […]

  I was physically and emotionally spent one late evening after a long day that included two difficult counselling cases, both of which had much in common. Both involved women who had been unfaithful, and had been found out by their husbands. In both instances, neither had any intention to leave their spouses and children. […]

  THESE DAYS, it is becoming harder to know exactly what people mean when they communicate. An illustration of this was when a property agent proudly pointed out the special “pocket view” of the apartment we were viewing. It was one of the assets and selling points for that apartment. Try as I might, it […]

  I HAVE A CONFESSION to make. Although I carry a pink Identity Card and have completed all my National Service liabilities, I am not a citizen by birth. I was born in the town of Kuching, in the state of Sarawak, in East Malaysia. This fact has not escaped the keen eyes of many […]

SINGAPOREANS ARE GENERALLY a hardworking people. The 42-hour work week is often exceeded without much fanfare or protest. The phrase “24/7” is synonymous with the call for us to be ready to work 24 hours a day and seven days a week. On the flip side, there are more entertainment options and opportunities available to […]

SOME GOOD IDEAS and insights have a way of randomly coming to us. Just like the one I had last week whilst having a meeting with a few social workers and counsellors. When asked for a suggestion to help each of them advance their professional development, I suggested that they each take one case and […]

“DO LEOPARDS CHANGE THEIR SPOTS?” It did not take long for me to realise that I was not being tested on my zoological knowledge. I was being asked about the “human form” of leopards. The inquirer wanted to know if men who strayed can ever be trusted to remain faithful again. This question is especially […]

THREE-QUARTERS WAY THROUGH THE SESSION, he let drop a bombshell. In a slow and measured way he said: “I am living under his shadow and he under mine.” His parents, both in their late fifties, looked with sadness and bewilderment at him. They had brought Calvin*, their son in his late twenties, for family counselling […]

  THESE DAYS, it is as if Darwinism has returned with a vengeance – though it is no longer “survival of the fittest” but now “survival of the smartest”. is thought drove home to me when I wondered why the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) has become such a big national event. Am I exaggerating […]

  THOMAS* HAD EXPRESSED REMORSE for his actions as sincerely as he could. He offered no excuse for his folly. His actions were a disappointment and a shock to his fiancée Amelia* and also to him. The two had been going steady for almost three years now and plans for a wedding were afoot. In […]

Some couples fight so regularly it is as if they, like boxers, are responding to the ringing of a bell. Some couples re-ignite their bitter fights over the most petty issues. Other couples have grown so exhausted of fighting that they just refuse to communicate or even look at each other. They simply coexist in the same home.