You & Your Family

Bob Dylan's folk song "The Times They Are a-Changin'" was released in 1964 but still speaks to the times we are living in. In the last three years, one big change we all had to adjust to was Covid-19.

On 8 September, Queen Elizabeth II passed on. The longest-reigning monarch of our time, she was a constant amidst all the changes of the past 70 years.

He came to see me wanting to work on his impatience and temper. When I asked my usual question of how he learned about me, he shared that it was through his wife.

In last month’s issue of Methodist Message, I shared about three men seeking to free themselves from the legacy of harsh parenting. In their childhood households, love and care was only shown, if at all, when they met parental expectations.

It has been a few months since Singapore shifted to “living with Covid” and treating it as endemic. Most restrictions for gatherings and dining have been lifted and more workers have returned to their workplaces. Food outlets and shopping malls are once again abuzz with customers. Traffic congestion and crowded MRT trains are becoming commonplace. […]

Many of us go through life not giving much thought to the question of “Who am I?” Identity documents such as our identity card or passport are commonly taken as proof of who we say we are, but they carry only a small bit of information about us. They do not tell who we really are.

In May 2016, The New York Times carried an interesting and thought-provoking article entitled Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person. Alain de Botton, the writer, asserted that whether we choose our marriage partner with our head or with our heart, we will invariably make a bad choice. He put forward reasonable supporting arguments, not the […]

“I picked a bone,” my client admitted with some hesitation. We had been talking and trying to understand a recent argument with his wife. My work with him focused on helping him manage his propensity to escalate from irritation to anger and then rage. That morning, he could not find something he wanted. At the back […]

A Sunday Times article on 30 January 2022 covered a trend dubbed “The Great Resignation” (also known as “Lying Flat”) sweeping some countries. It noted that Singapore’s manpower data do not indicate that this phenomenon has hit our shores—yet. “The Great Resignation” involves waves of employees—primarily professionals, executives and even skilled workers—quitting their jobs without […]

A recent invitation to be a panel speaker in a webinar on “hope” led me to mull over this multi-faceted subject. Here, I shall consider the importance of hope in relationships that matter to us. Before going on, allow me to define hope as a feeling of expectation, a desire with an anticipation that something […]

“I don’t mind the Christian God, it’s the Christians that I have a problem with!” A statement like this is unfortunate, since Christ’s followers are supposed to be the earthly expression of God’s compassion and His presence. Clearly, many of us are not doing a good job of it. Not only do some Christians turn people […]

The topic of identity has recently come up repeatedly with clients I have been counselling. A case that has made a strong impression on me involves a couple who have been married for almost six years. The man had been sent to Singapore at a young age for his education. He eventually graduated, started working […]